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If you want to sit back and relax, you can have the whole of pageram read to you by the author.

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You can always check out the rams later.

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“Is that Coscu?”

“Cusco,” she corrected, “it’s a city in Peru”.

Oh dear ,again.

“Do you know it?” she said.

“I know the shop, not the place. I bought a mirror for my sister-in-law, for her birthday.”

Her eyes widened.

“Was she happy with it?”

“Yes, she was – very.”

“That’s good,” she said, and nodded.

The sun appeared for the first time in the day. Her dark-brown hair became copper and glinted at me. It liked me. I was enjoying myself. She narrowed her eyes.

“What about you? What do you do?”

I stopped enjoying myself.

“Oh, research.”

I wanted her to say, “That sounds interesting,” so that I could take comfort in that we had both lied during out first conversation. She didn’t. There was another silence during which I looked at her arms. She had a natural tan that was not of English origin, but her voice and mannerisms definitely were. She went to speak, stopped, and then started again. She’d become nervous and there was a hint of redness about her cheeks. What was she trying to say? Please, don’t mention the poo. Please, no.

“I was thinking about having a small party in a couple of weeks – just a few friends and neighbours,” she said.

Phew, she was going to warn me about the noise.